Can I Get a Distraction?
by Dragonbuttero'PKMN
Summary: Harley is the emporer of Mega Asia and he tries to capture a kingdom that belongs to one of his greatest enemies... well, actually the kingdom belongs to her husband: King Drew. And Harley takes Tracey to be a lover! WAH-HA-HAHA-HA! Pokemon


_Those that look through this Fanfiction for sense, will find none._

May (AKA Haruka) was a proud queen of a small kingdom somewhere in the Pokémon world (AKA Japan), married to the incredibly handsome, dashing, and charming king Drew (AKA Shuu). She was just sitting there on her throne watching her fool (or joker), when she heard the trumpets sound off; and the royal messenger, his name was Ash Ketchum (AKA Satoshi), came running to Drew and her.

King Drew asked "What is it?"

Drew's crown was too big for his head, so his head was tilting. His robe was purple and his royal shirt and pants were both a dark-blue color.

"King Harley is at the gates." Ash answered

May was annoyed, and extremely stressed out "Again?"

May had overdid the green eyeshadow, and had on red lipstick and extremely long fingernails painted red. Her outfit was a red and gold gown.

Harley Nancy Tinklehorn (The First!) was the man's name. The man, although known as King Harley, was actually the emperor of Mega Asia, which is what used to be China, Mongolia, Russia, and there was another country north of China. The high population of China spread out into Russia and surprisingly people were actually even harder to handle. When the guy the originally controlled Mega Asia was killed in a revolution, Harley took over the land. Harley didn't take control of the country by force and he wasn't _significantly_ good a manipulating people (enough to get a free dinner every once in a while), he just took control because he knew the guy who originally controlled the country, and he was practically the only one who was willing to rule the nation who didn't have an obsession with violence (not much of an obsession, anyways). He was a fan of using ways other than war to get revenge, mainly using the United Nations to get money from other countries. He was very effeminate and he was unmarried, so he ruled the country by himself. As you're probably thinking right now, the guy _was _gay. (Or you probably _weren't_ thinking that.) As a matter a fact, the reason he knew the original emperor of Mega Asia was that he was one of his former lovers.

King Drew asked again "What is he doing here?"

"He requests to speak with Haruka-chan. He wants to go shopping again."

"Again?" queen May said…again.

"Why did you say that twice?"

May sighed, and said "He was here _yesterday _wanting to go shopping with me."

"Uh... I know that, but it's annoying when you repeat yourself."

"DID YOU JUST CALL ME ANNOYING!? GUARDS!"

"Now wait just a minute honey." came a voice from an intruder.

Harley had somehow gotten through the gate when May was talking to Ash. There was the man, standing in all his gay, extremely feminine glory. This guy seriously has one of the weirdest figures ever, a skinny, but masculine torso with what appears to be hips; so the guy almost looked like a woman. You could tell that Harley was a guy though because of his flat chest, broad shoulders, and especially that deep voice.

And, he wasn't wearing an all purple fairy outfit like you'd imagine, but a modified, buttoned down Cacturne outfit with a purple robe on his back…uh…and pink strings...and pink glitter on the robe's golden furry lining. His crown looked like a normal golden crown with red, blue, and purple alternating colored jewels.

Queen May was astounded, enraged, and scared "How did you get in here?"

"Ash left the moat open for me."

May then yelled at Ash "What!?"

"I just thought that we knew the guy long enough that we didn't have to worry about him..."

"Guards! Kill Ash and escort Harley out of the castle!"

Harley held his hands up and made a big, expressionate face "WAIT!"

Everyone froze and uttered something at the same time "Huh?!"

He then let out two of his Pokémon: Banette and Lunatone.

"Lunatone use psychic on Haruka's garden and Banette rescue Ash!"

So his Pokémon did what they were told, and after Banette got Ash she put him down near Harley. (It's a she, I think….could be wrong though.)

May's anger fired up "Harley what are you doing? And why did you attack my guards?"

"Ash does not deserve to be killed! He was right about you being annoying, and he was smart to let me in before I broke the door down. I also really need to talk to you!"

"I don't want to go shopping right now!"

"I'm not talking about shopping! This is more important than that!"

" You actually acknowledge there are some things more important than shopping!?"

"Haruka, shut up and let me talk! Madonna is DEAD!"

"Harley, you shut up. I mean, Madonna died at... 267 years old right?"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP! She died at 115!"

"Harley... that's still pretty old."

Then May looked up and rolled her eyes.

"Although I am surprised she managed to maintain a relationship till now. Isn't this some sort of record for her? 15 years till now is how long the marriage lasted right?"

"First of all, she's been married for 34 years, to that guy. Second, DO NOT MOCK MADDAONA!"

"I can mock her _all I want_.~ I am a _queen _after all."

May then smirked "You want to be a queen so badly don't you? Tell me Harley, does it annoy you to be an emperor, and not an empress? Are you _JEALOUS __of me?"_

Harley said "May, I could never be jealous of a lack of power. Do you know how much I can do to my country and other nations? I wouldn't be able to do any of it if I were a wife to some guy."

Harley grinned a devilish grin "As a matter of fact May, I was just talking to you to stall time for my attack. MEN! NOW!"

Just then a whole army stormed into the castle. Harley then called back his Pokémon and ran while still holding Ash, and then he realized he left Ash's Pikachu so he ran back for it, and then ran out again. The armada, filled with men and lesbian alike, killed everyone in the castle except for the children of May ad Drew, and anyone else they feel like they should spare. Outside of the castle, Harley put Ash down.

Ash asked, not just extremely but truly dumbfounded "Why did you spare Pikachu and me from being killed?"

"I already told you; you don't deserve to die."

When Harley was done talking one of the lesbians came out.

"Sir, we found this man." The random chick reported.

The man was the fool (Joker/Jester) that entertained Drew and May.

"Hey fool, what's your name?"

The Jester looked away "Tracey".

Harley smiled again "Nice job Dillan! He'll make a fine lover."

Ash spoke "What are you going to do with me?"

"I honestly don't care for you. I just didn't think you deserved to die. You can run off and do whatever the fuck you want."

"Well….FUCK IF I AM!" Tracey screamed and got out of the grip of the woman, and ran like crazy.

"What'd he do that for? …OH! I made it sound like he'd be MY lover, instead of the "man who under the king's rule has sex with the king's hot all female army of 10000 chicks," didn't I?"

And the lesbian spoke "Yeah, who'd want to be your lover?"

And so, Harley had successfully killed his greatest enemy, relinquished a lady from his army (no one insults the king without consequences!), captured a part of Japan, and Tracey replaced Brock for an entire season of Pokémon.


End file.
